While I was a priest in Rotterdam, I met a solid Roman Catholic sailor who made jokes about the ban on eating meat on Friday. After almost a year I was called to visit this man, because he was very ill. The doctor told her he had incurable cancer. When I reached him, he asked me, to my surprise, if he could confess to me, which I allowed him, of course. I even really enjoyed this request.
The story of his life I had heard then was one of the most terrible I had ever heard. This man had wasted his life. The environment in which he had been forced to grow up in his youth and later years was particularly bad. When, in the middle of the story, he asked me if I didn't think he was a very bad man, I could only answer, "No, because if I had lived in the same circumstances, I would have been much worse." “.
I noticed with surprise, but also with a lot of emotion during the story that there was nothing left of the joking sailor a year ago. It was heartbreaking to see how sorry he was for the life he had led. Jesus Christ seemed to have touched the heart of this uncarved man at the end of his life, as he had done with the thief on the cross.
Since the doctor had told me that the sick sailor had little to live on, I went to see him again after a few days. He was dying. During the conversation, I asked him if we could apologize together again for all the harm he had done in his life. "I have already done this," was the reply, and after looking at him for a while without saying anything, he said, "Please, Father, listen to me. If one of my children insulted me and apologized to me, and I told him afterwards that everything was in order, then after a few days he would not ask me to forgive him. Even as a father, I would act like that. And the loving God in heaven is a better Father than I am. ""I will greatly rejoice in the Lord, my soul shall be joyful in my God: for he hath clothed me with the garments of salvation, he hath covered me with the robe of righteousness" (Isaiah 61:10).
What faith! How could this tough guy be a true believer at the end of his life who had the security of salvation? The next day, he died in peace. He did not have a religious funeral because his family did not want it. But it was clear to me: At the end of my life I would rather sit in this sailor's boots than in the shoes of many I have buried with religious funerals!
My departure from the Roman Catholic Church
Soon after, great changes took place in my life. I was transferred from Rotterdam to Amsterdam. In fact, this was a promotion, but in the meantime my inner conflict with Roman Catholic doctrine and practice had become so great over time that I felt compelled to leave the Dominican order and the Roman Catholic Church. From my faith — because I had a very materialistic philosophy of life — there was almost nothing left. For this reason, in November 1955, I asked for the so-called "dispensation," that is, the permission to leave the order, which I received.
Of course, I did not receive any permission to leave the Roman Catholic Church!
I then moved to The Hague, where I began a completely different life. Through a man with much influence in the world, I became the manager of a hotel in Rotterdam. It was, of course, quite different from being a priest. I felt completely empty mentally and spiritually. I avoided anything that aroused my religious feelings, I wanted to free myself completely from my past and think about it as little as possible. I almost made it. But I couldn't forget that sailor.
There was not much left of my Roman Catholic faith. We rarely go to church. The Roman Catholic Church had disappointed me, and most Protestant divine services bored me with dull, schematic, dry, uninspiring, and traditionalist sermons, behind which not much personal conviction or enthusiasm could be detected. With a few exceptions, the few Protestant sermons I listened to gave me the impression that they were only more or less successful personal or theological essays on the gospel, but none were marked by inner conviction and the proclamation of the gospel. First of all, I was unfamiliar with the style of the sermons and the fact that they were read. Besides, the preachers were twice liberals, and their message was so confusing and vague that they confused me even more. I completely lost interest in the Church. But I couldn't forget that sailor.
After three years of working in the hotel, for which I was totally unfit, I became a teacher of classical languages at several secondary schools. The third and last school I taught was a Christian high school in The Hague. There, of course, I came into contact with fellow Christians. I cannot say that they were all models of living Christianity, but there were some who lived their lives consciously according to Christian beliefs and who radiated the freedom and joy of God's children. Unwittingly, I began to notice them, and this became an attractive experience for me.
The Bible began to fascinate me
I had to start classes every morning reading a short passage from the Bible. To my surprise, I gradually began to enjoy this. The word of God began to attract and fascinate me like never before. I was soon reading much more for myself than that short passage I had to read at school.
I also read comments written by well-known Bible teachers. Sometimes they were enlightening and inspiring, but most of the time I found them boring and dry. This bothered me, although I did not share the idea that the Bible could be understood only with the help of scholars. The Ethiopian eunuch was initiated into understanding the passage in Isaiah not by an ordained teacher or worker, but by Deacon Philip. "Then Philip opened his mouth, and began at this passage to preach unto him the gospel of Jesus" (Acts 8:35). And Philip preached in such a way that the man believed, was baptized, and saw his way beyond joy.
After reading a few comments, it was impossible for me to say that I was continuing my journey full of joy. On the contrary, very often the joy we already had as a result of the wonderful message of God's love and mercy was weakened and hindered. Therefore, of all those scholarly writings on the Bible that I read, nothing stuck with me. But I couldn't forget that sailor. The more I read the Bible, the better I understood why I could not forget it. This man was a true believer. Personally, I was not and never really was, despite the fact that I had previously accepted a large number of theological theses as "religious truths" and despite the fact that I had held a leading position in the Church.
I came to this conclusion by reading the Scriptures. There was a time when I thought that in order to believe I must accept the authority of another (for example, the Church) and accept with the intellect a certain number of truths (for example, that God exists, that there is heaven and hell, that there are sacraments , etc.). However, the Bible taught me that this is not faith. If so, then the devil himself would be a believer.
The devil accepts these truths! But this is not true faith.
Abraham believed God
According to Scripture, faith is identical with trust. The Bible calls Abraham the father of all believers because he trusted God and God's Word, even though he did not understand it intellectually. "And he received the sign of circumcision, a seal of the righteousness of the faith which he had yet being uncircumcised, that he might be the father of all them that believe, though they be not circumcised; that their righteousness may be reckoned unto them" (Romans 4). : 11).
When Abraham and his wife were nearly 200 years old together, God said they would have a child. From a biological point of view, this was completely unbelievable, yet Abraham was confident that God would fulfill His Word.
So was that sailor. He knew absolutely nothing about formal theology and had rarely been to church, but at the end of his life he was a believer. He knew that God was his Father, that his sins were forgiven, and that he was one of God's children.
This strong confidence that the rock made him cry from his deathbed, "Abba, Father . "
I believe in god
Soon after reading through the Scriptures what faith really is, the Bible became a completely different book for me. All I could do was obey the Scriptures and trust in the Lord. Then, in unforgettable moments, I was able to shout with all my heart, "Abba, Father . " From now on, I was one of God's children. I have found that everything the Holy Scriptures say about believers and the promises made to them is absolutely trustworthy. I too could have "eternal life," not only much later, but now! "Verily, verily, I say unto you, He that believeth on me hath everlasting life" (John 6:47).
Sadness and joy
Suddenly feelings of sadness and regret for my many terrible sins came to the surface, feelings I could not control. But they were wonderfully mixed with the abundant joy of the assurance that I was saved by the precious blood of Jesus from eternal damnation, and that I was now forever a child of God. It is simply impossible to describe what this means to someone who has never known such security before.
After this complete spiritual change in my life, I felt immensely happy. I feel the same way today. That is why I want many others to experience the same joy as me, and I pray for it daily.
"And we [God] made us alive with sin" (Ephesians 2: 5). You and I are among those who were condemned to eternal death! On the cross of Golgotha, where you and I deserved to hang before our rejection forever, Jesus was the One who suffered. He took our place and died to save us from eternal death and to sanctify and bless us now and forever! This extremely impressive message of God's endless love is the core of Scripture, that unique book with its unique content. To tell others this wonderful and hopeful message of redemption, deliverance, and eternal life, without distorting it, I became a preacher.
Only Christ
I had been a monk for fifteen years, but no matter how important this position was in the eyes of the people, it was impossible for me to find peace and happiness in it. Without the security of forgiveness of sins and the fact that I am a child of God, I could not live happily and peacefully, and even now I cannot. The Roman Catholic Church has never been able to give me this security, even when I was a priest and a monk. She did not teach me what it takes to have these things. He did not teach me that only the mercy of God is necessary, and on the part of man only faith is needed, and the way there is found only in Scripture.
After his conversion, Brother Hendriksen worked for many years as a preacher and teacher. And after his retirement he uses every opportunity to serve the Lord. If we were to characterize him in a few words, they might be, "a man as good as hot bread." In the meantime (2006) he turned 92 and lives in Zwolle, the Netherlands.
(Translator: Olimpiu S. Cosma)
[Source: https://bereanbeacon.org/ro/un-preot-devine-predicator/]
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