I lived in a small house in Mesoraca (Calabria, Italy), located in a hamlet called Filippa, not far from the Franciscan monastery, on top of a beautiful hill. I used to go there when I was a child with my family to listen to the liturgy.
The attraction of the monastery
I remember feeling excited one morning when I heard the sounds of the church orgy. Outside, nature had come to life, and spring produced a strange attraction in my mind. I felt that it would be wonderful to live the rest of my days in a monastery, in close communion with God and nature. I met my mother when she left the church and shouted, "Mother, how wonderful it would be if I became a priest!" My mother was exceedingly happy to hear this wish, and she was even happier when she I confirmed after a while that I was increasingly sure of what I sincerely believed was God's call for my life.
Then came the day when my mother, at my request, took me to the monastery to talk to the abbot. After our interview, he seemed pleased with the seriousness of my intentions and told my mother that I would definitely be a priest one day. In the end I was accepted by the director of the Franciscan seminary called "Collegio Serafico". On September 28, 1928, I said goodbye to my family and, accompanied by Father Carlo, took the train to the seminary in the province of Cosenza.
Five years in seminary
During the trip, my thoughts returned to the life I had left behind. Often, without letting the other passengers see, I wiped away the tears that trickled down my cheeks. The first days of the seminar were marked by great agitation caused by the arrival of new students and some confusion, as many boys had not quickly adapted to the new lifestyle, which was very different from the freedom they had lived before.
When the cold subsided, I suffered from frostbite, flu, and other illnesses. There was no heating in the college. In the morning, when I woke up to the ringing of the bell, we had to walk through the inner courtyard under the open sky to wash our faces there, as there was no tap water. But because the water froze in the basins, the ice had to be broken first, and we used it as if it were soap. For this reason, most of us let two or three days pass before we dared to wash our faces.
It was a rough life. The cold had an increasingly demoralizing effect. Although I was trying to overcome all these things, I was retreating more and more into myself. To my surprise, I burst into tears more and more often. At such moments no one could comfort me. I remember that once Pater Carlo, upset at the disturbance of the silence I had made, began to slap me a few times in the face, a few fists and even a kick. I must confess that these ruthless blows had the desired effect. I decided from that moment on to do only what was asked of me, no matter how unpleasant it was.
I soon realized that I could no longer trust anyone and that it was impossible to have a friend. They seemed to be spies everywhere. Otherwise, I have very few memories left from these four years of seminary.
Happy Brother
In September 1932 I went to the monastery where I spent my novitiate year. According to the rules of novitiate in the order of the minor monks of St. Francis, on the first day I received a new name. From now on, my name was "Happy Brother" (happy brother).
I remember that cruel boredom that torments the novices, the boredom coming from a forced laziness and a false loneliness. Even though novices are expected to grow in God's ways, in reality they were suspicious of each other and envious of nothing, and our lives together were characterized by jealousy, strife, and vulgarity.
Happiness and disappointment as a priest
My year as a novice ended with the "simple covenant" ceremony, which took place on October 4, 1933. On July 7, 1934, I was ordained a priest. I received congratulations from the bishop, from my superiors, and from the priests who were present. I was very happy. I was finally a priest. However, my first liturgy was a great disappointment. It seemed to me that I was acting as required by the role I had been assigned to play. But I felt no joy and no spiritual satisfaction. Where was the presence of God that I had been told I would feel in a very real way? Everything was nothing but an empty formality.
After a few years in the monastery of St. Francis of Assisi, where I taught Italian, history, geography and religion to high school students, I arrived at the monastery of Bisignane (Cosenza), and then a monastery in Reggio di Calabria. There I had my first face-to-face meeting with evangelical Christians.
A spring of water for the thirsty
On August 15, 1945, as I passed the evangelical Baptist church in Reggio di Calabria, I suddenly felt a strong desire to see the preacher, but I did not have the courage to enter. I finally mustered the courage to write him a letter requesting an appointment. The answer I received from Pastor Salvatore Tortorelli in my turn read: "Come on, you are always welcome, look for me when it is most convenient for you." The pastor advised me to read the Bible. "Read it with simplicity and without prejudice," he said.
I returned to the monastery and began reading the Holy Scriptures in Italian. To my spirit and soul, it was like a spring of water for the thirsty and a sight for the blind. Each page brought new surprises and a new light, like the windows open in a prison. "Is it possible?" I kept repeating. "Is it possible that I lived so many years without knowing these wonderful things?" One day I told Pastor Tortorelli how I felt. His answer was, “The Lord is calling you out of untruth. Give up everything and convert to the gospel of Jesus Christ. ”
Fear of consequences
Two obstacles prevented me from leaving the monastery. The first was the shame of being despised as a man of bad repute, an outspoken priest. Second, I was afraid to venture into the unknown world without having something insured or a job. This last point was crucial, because the fifth article of the Concordat between the Italian government and the Vatican forbade the employment of former priests. In such conditions I did not have the courage to leave the monastery.
Jesus wants to save you
Not long after that I was transferred to a monastery in Staletti. One day, while I was in the village, a peasant motioned for me to stop. He had heard of me from the Baptist pastor of Reggio di Calabria and explained to me that his own pastor, Domenico Fulginiti of Gasperini, a town about six miles away, wanted to meet me.
A few days later I went to the meeting place. The house was small and very simply furnished, as are most of the houses of the peasants of Calabria. There was a table with a few chairs, a hearth, and next to it a loaf of dough and two sieves for sifting the bread flour. Pots and pans hung near the hearth on the wall. The bedroom could be seen through an open door. At first, the pastor didn't make a good impression on me. He wore a very modest suit without a tie. He could be seen as a simple peasant. "What kind of pastor will he be?" I thought as Domenico Fulginiti introduced himself.
I expected him to take out his Bible at all times and give me a sermon, but instead he looked at me with great kindness and said, “Surely you now know everything you need to know about God's Word. The thing you need now is salvation.
Jesus wants to save you. He died on the cross to save your soul. " He kept telling me about "being born again." He told me the story of Nicodemus, who went to Jesus at night, and then repeated the words of the Master: "Are you a teacher of Israel, and do you not know these things?"
"Born again, if I could be born again," I thought. “To erase all my painful past, all my mistakes, all my misconceptions, all my sins, all the filth and filth that my soul has gathered, and to begin a new, pure life before God and men: I could be born again! '
A true prayer of faith
"You must be born again , "the peasant repeated amicably. I didn't know what to say, but I was glad I agreed with him as he continued to tell me with great conviction about these things. He spoke with simplicity, not in a pretentious and conceited teacher's tone. There was no sign of superiority in his words. After a while he got to his feet and said, "If it doesn't bother you, can we pray before we all go our separate ways?" "Of course we can pray," I said. He knelt down, raised his hands to the sky, and closed his eyes. My eyes were wide open. He began by thanking God for giving me the opportunity to hear the message of salvation. He continued to ask God to cleanse my heart of all sin and to wash my soul in the precious blood of Jesus, His only Son, who died on the cross to pay the ransom for my soul. He continued to talk like this for a while.
I, too, had, of course, knelt with some hesitation, and watched his prayer with skepticism, smiling to myself as he referred to my sins. What could he know? ”I kept looking at him; He kept his eyes closed as he held his hands imploringly to the sky. The intensity of his prayer was seen in his whole being. It was truly a prayer of faith. I had never heard anyone pray like that before. However, that prayer seemed to be the true one, for it corresponded exactly to the kind of prayer Jesus had taught people. He had warned them against mechanical repetitions and encouraged them to say prayers that matched the needs of the moment. What could be more urgent than saving my soul?
Eternal life is in His Son
Suddenly, I closed my eyes, and my whole life passed like a movie before my eyes. All sins, all vices, all pride, lust, hypocrisy, lies and many other things. I saw myself covered with every kind of sin, just as a leper is covered with his repulsive disease. My condition terrified me. I thought anxiously how I could be freed from this oppressive state. At that moment, I remembered some words that had been mentioned earlier in prayer: "The blood of Jesus cleanses us from all sin . " Then I understood what it meant to be truly free. I surrendered into the hands of Jesus, my Savior, desperately seeking His help.
"Lord, have mercy on me, a sinner. Save my soul! ”I shouted.
I was going through a big crisis. On the one hand I saw my present life, the pleasures and the comfort it offered; I saw my relatives, friends, and everyone who respected me for who I was. On the other hand, I saw the unknown, a life of work and sacrifice; but I also saw Jesus with open arms, ready to receive me into Himself, ready to give me a new heart, a new soul, a new life, full of His grace, His love and His peace. As Scripture says, we knew that "this is the testimony, that God has given us eternal life, and this life is in His Son" (1 John 5:11).
Total trust in Jesus
I felt peace enter my heart. For the first time in my life, I truly felt the presence of Jesus. He was there with us in the room. He accepted my repentance, received me into Himself, and spoke to me. His voice was pleasing to my ears. It calmed my anxiety. The darkness disappeared from my mind. His presence was so vivid that I had the impression that if I reached out I could touch His garment. He was, my Lord, my Master, Jesus.
Brother Fulginiti noticed that something very important was happening in me and that the Lord had heard his prayer. He hugged me and said, “The Lord has touched your heart; believe only in Him and do not procrastinate! Who knows if you will be given another chance to hear Jesus' invitation? The enemy will always try to stop you from taking the path of salvation. " With tears in my eyes, I replied, "Brother, I have decided to serve the Lord all my life, even if it means death."
After my conversion and departure from the Roman Catholic Church, I had the privilege of working as a missionary pastor, evangelist, and founder and director of "La Voce Della Speranza" (The Voice of Hope), which is broadcast from several radio stations in the United States. in Europe. May the Lord continue to do through us what He foretold through Isaiah:
“That I may give to them that mourn in Zion, and to give them a diadem instead of gray, the oil of joy instead of mourning, the garment of praise instead of a sorrowful spirit, that they may be called
"Trees of righteousness," a "plant of the Lord," that He may be glorified " (Isaiah 61: 3).
(Translator: Olimpiu S. Cosma)
[Source: https://bereanbeacon.org/ro/intilnirea-mea-cu-dumnezeu/]
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