It is not easy for me to talk about the many years that I have been a member, even a priest, of the Roman Catholic Church, but I know that it is important. And the words of the apostle Paul also encourage me to do so: “But in all this we overcome far through him who loved us” (Romans 8:37).
My parents had converted to Catholicism as young adults. So I was born into a family that conscientiously followed everything that the Pope asked of good and faithful Catholics. No one of his pronouncements was ever questioned, even when individual family members suffered from following the rules and lost their joy in the process. We grew up so emphatically Catholic that I hardly noticed that there were other denominations as well. I still remember a school friend of my mother's taking me to her church on a Sunday. Within the Anglican Church, this local parish belonged to the particularly traditional, Rome-oriented wing.
At home I asked my parents why we didn't go there too, that would be the same. As expected, I received no response. What could a boy of just eight years have understood about it? So I spent my entire youth in the Catholic Church and then served it as a priest for many years of my adult life.
As a child, I equated 'believing' with 'doing right' - like going to mass every Sunday and giving part of my pocket money to the collection. I also associated the priest's visit to our home when my father was sick with 'faith'. However, this was his only visit to us in the six years we were in that parish. And in the next fifteen years that we lived in a different place, no priest at all stopped by. I hope this belies the great myth that Catholic clergymen dutifully and regularly look after their flock!
Another area of religious education was school. I spent almost all of my first part of school in a Catholic school. From the age of 13 to 18 I attended a private boarding school in County Somerset, which was run by Benedictine monks. In both schools 'believing' was understood as 'doing right'. The good Catholics among us went to mass on Sundays and to worship on Fridays to worship the monstrance. And the very good Catholics became acolytes or singers in the church choir. The bad ones among us ran away at such moments. We found it more sensible to scout out the surrounding hills and didn't let the wind and weather stop us.
The pressure to adapt and meet expectations was tremendous. The teachers used their cars to search the area for students who failed to do their duty. And we were treated like dirt by our classmates or, if they discovered us, even blackened by the school administration.
But there were also cheerful moments, for example when another notorious runaway and I, as the only one of the older students, were present at a service and then, to the great astonishment of the students and teachers, were allowed to escort all the other worshipers out of the church after the mass .
The Downside School also left a positive mark on my life: I got a sense that belief is not an impersonal thing. I don't know whether the teachers conveyed this on purpose or not, but it has benefited me greatly in my later life. For the 'O-Levels' (a school exam at the age of 16), we studied the Gospel of Mark in one subject. I can't remember much, but I suspect that we did not study the Bible book in the historical-critical method popular in the Catholic Church, but in a way that encouraged us to work out what was really in the Text stands. Until the day I left the Catholic Church, I was never again encouraged to approach the Bible in this direct way! What was conveyed to me was Roman Catholic teaching in all its unbiblical facets, but by the time I left school I - perhaps only myself - had miraculously realized two things: I could talk to God and the Scriptures were truthful. Nevertheless, I always remained a faithful Catholic.
Many readers will find this difficult to understand, especially those who have never been Catholics. I want to tell you that Catholicism and Judaism have a certain similarity. For both, belonging is not just a matter of belief, but rather a lifestyle. From my youth on I was literally immersed in Catholicism and so it never occurred to me that one could think and believe differently. Although we thoroughly studied the Reformation and Counter-Reformation on the European continent in history class, I could not imagine at all that there would be people in our country, in Great Britain, who did not think Roman Catholic. Whether on purpose or not, I was brought up to believe
Called to serve
It would never have occurred to me that one day as an ordained priest I would serve God, and much less could I imagine that later, through simple repentance and faith, I would come into fellowship with God. To me, to be a believer meant to be a Catholic, and to be a Catholic meant attending mass on Sundays regularly or “being good”. When I was almost 16 years old, I had an experience that I interpreted as a clear call to the service of God, and because I knew nothing other than the Roman Catholic Church, the call meant for me to give God in that very church to serve. The impression of this vocation of God was even stronger for me when the next day the news of the death of Pope Paul VI. got known.
The conviction that I was called of God increased my efforts to do right in every way.
I attended numerous so-called applicant conferences. These events, organized by the Diocese of Plymouth, were used to select suitable candidates for the priesthood. There I had the opportunity to speak to various priests. I read books on priestly ministry; became acquainted with the local parish priest and regularly attended the sacrament of confession, although I did
Sinn never understood and the confessional filled me with horror. I also took part in other forms of worship, such as worshiping the monstrance, walking on the Way of the Cross and praying the rosary. None of this brought me any spiritual insight, it only increased the burden on my heart. I felt like Martin Luther, who, as I later learned, became all the more depressed the more he tried to draw near to God through the most varied of works. The “Stations of the Cross” made the most sense, as they had a clear reference to the way of the Lord Jesus until his death on the cross; but the strong emphasis on the liturgy and the extra-biblical elements that the Church had inserted into the Passion of Christ destroyed my interest in thinking deeper about the cross. Even as a mere participant, these rituals were a burden for me, and when I later had to perform them myself, it didn't get any better. In fact, it got to the point that I developed a hatred of worshiping God because of these things!
Looking back on my life, I realize that I actually lived constantly in conflict with the unbiblical teachings and forms of worship of the Catholic Church. If I had come into contact with the word of God earlier, I would have left the church as quickly as possible. However, being a staunch Catholic through and through, I didn't even notice God's speaking in His Word. It seems to me that God has reached out to me throughout my childhood and adolescence, but the haze of Catholic indoctrination has obscured my view of it.
In education
The Bishop of Plymouth selected me to be a priest, and it was agreed that I should enter seminary and be trained for the Catholic priesthood. In early September 1980 I entered St. John's Seminary in Wonersh, near Guildford, Surrey. I very much doubt that it was God's will that I should begin this training when I was just 18 years old. I was almost a child, but the Catholic Church thought I was old enough! The initial experience was terrible for me. I
didn't know any of the other students except an 18-year-old from Plymouth who was just as immature as me. Because nobody bothered to show me the way to the chapel, it took me three days to find him. But where the library was and how important it was, I was impressed.
The everyday seminar consisted of lessons, exams and information gathering. We were never really encouraged to lead a spiritual life. Once a student was asked to drop out because of poor academic performance. A fellow student said: "In terms of spiritual depth, it was way ahead of us".
Only the visible seemed to matter. You had to show how good you were, and you had to show by doing what you were capable of being a Catholic priest. I already had a few pluses from helping out in the sacristy during some of my years of training. There all the clothing and the materials required for the various rites and ceremonies were prepared, which the Catholic Church says are indispensable. It was like turning the words of James 2: 14-18 upside down and saying, "We don't care about the faith, it is the works [of the student] that show whether he is suitable!"
We were never asked about our beliefs, nor were we asked if we could justify it with scripture. What was conveyed in the lectures, we had to accept faithfully as the teaching of the Catholic Church - those who did not agree could go! There was no discussion. We were not encouraged to sit in the service with the Bible open and check what we heard. The lectures on the Bible dealt with the various theories of liberal theology, which divide the Bible into a multitude of sources and phases. Reference was repeatedly made to Bultmann, the well-known theologian of 'demythologizing' who denied the divine work in the New Testament miracles. There was never any mention of the possibility that scriptures might actually be true, much less infallible."All scriptures are inspired by God and are useful for instruction, conviction, correction, education in righteousness, so that the man of God may be fully prepared, fully equipped for every good work" (2 Timothy 3: 16-17) .
In my seminar time, I didn't get any closer to God and, to be honest, I stopped looking for him after a few years. Instead of using God's Word to prepare us for our priestly duties, the seminary was nothing more than a hurdle to overcome before we could begin practical work in a parish. I was not trained as a pastor, shepherd, servant, or preacher, but rather as a
'Administrator' and 'Moderator'. There were several occasions in the early years when we could have learned to share the gospel with others. Once we held a youth day for the Diocese of Arundel and Brighton on the seminary grounds. But the chance to convey biblical truths was missed. Instead, a conflict flared up because some students did something against them
Had 'modern' music that was used during the closing mass. They knelt in the organ gallery and prayed the rosary while the service went on downstairs. But that's not all. Because bread had been used instead of wafers for communion, they came down to the chapel at the end of the celebration and crawled to look for crumbs that might have fallen on the floor. Is such conduct pleasing to God? Is that how love acts? Looking back, I contrast this experience with the words of John: “We know that we have come from death to life, because we love the brothers. Who does not love the brother, remains in death "(1 John 3:14). I wonder how these men who were supposedly prepared to serve God could so disregard this passage.
For me, however, the most tragic thing remains the status that was given to Roman Catholic teaching. For example, when we studied the Eucharist and its unbiblical theory of transubstantiation, it was not Scripture but philosophy that formed the basis of our learning. I understood most of what we learned that year; however, it remained a mystery to many of my fellow students. Neither the teachers nor the students were aware that philosophy is not divine but human wisdom and that it has no relation to the Word of God, as it is written: “For my thoughts are not your thoughts and your ways are not mine Ways, says the LORD ” (Isaiah 55: 8).
The place of the Bible
We conducted confessional interviews with test persons for practice purposes, but I did not preach once during the entire five-year seminar time, neither for practice purposes nor in the service! We have never thought about the justification with which we told people that they could not talk to God themselves, and with what justification we did not tell them that God alone has the power to forgive sins. We naturally abused the verse in Gospel of John 20:23 and trained ourselves to function as a wall between God and man. As if Paul had never written to the Romans what the Lord Jesus Christ did and is doing:“For what he died he died to sin once and for all; but what he lives he lives for God. So you too: believe that you are dead to sin, but live for God in Christ Jesus our Lord ” (Romans 6: 10-11).
We also ignored what is testified about the Lord Jesus in Hebrews 7:27: “He who does not need to offer sacrifices first for his own sins, like the high priests, then for those of the people; for this latter he did once and for all by offering himself up as a sacrifice. ” The words of Scripture were simply not taken seriously; only the words and laws of the Catholic Church mattered.
This unbiblical attitude also influenced our relationships with other Christians we met. There was, for example, the brilliant teacher in voice training and rhetoric. She was quite old and died in the third or fourth year of my education. Some students attended the memorial service at the local church. When they returned, only one subject on their mind was that there were no candles in the church. They hadn't listened to the preached word, just saw what they thought had been done wrong.
Or then I think of the Catholic woman married to an Anglican vicar who was invited to speak about life in a mixed denominational marriage. The students' questions and comments did not concern the doctrinal conflicts that could possibly arise between the partners, only the fact that this woman went to church of his denomination with her husband every other Sunday aroused violent displeasure. As a good Catholic she should go to the Catholic Church every Sunday.
Once I got to know for a moment the true face of the Catholic Church - the face of a secular organization that hides its secular goals under a religious guise. One of the students, who had already been ordained deacon, was suddenly no longer in the seminary. He had doubts about the doctrine of transubstantiation and had picked out all Bible passages relating to this topic ( Matthew 26.2629 / Mark 14.22-25 / Luke 22.14-20 / Luke 24.13-35 / 1 Corinthians 11.17- 34 et al). Through his personal Bible study, he realized that the Bible was very different from what the Catholic Church taught and what his professors tried to teach him. He was kicked out of seminary within two days, presumably so the rest of us would not get infected with the “twin evils” of Scripture and the Holy Spirit. Some fellow students couldn't quite believe the thing and started circulating bad stories - not about the scandalous way he was treated, but about himself! For my part, I would have loved to talk to him, but he disappeared so quickly that I had no opportunity to do so. I felt sorry for him and I could empathize with him for I had never really accepted the doctrine of transubstantiation either (and did not do so later either). I hope and pray that this intrepid and courageous man will one day meet Christ and preach God's Word today.
The dignity with which this fellow student faced the consequences of his convictions and the injustice with which the school administration treated him was almost enough for me to have broken out of the Roman Catholic way of life and the tyranny that the Church exercised over me . But unfortunately - I am writing this with a sore heart - I could not quite see the truth then. The words of Isaiah that Jesus quoted applied to me as well as to those around me: “This people draw near to me with their mouths and honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me. In vain, however, they worship me because they present teachings that are human commandments "(Matthew 15: 8-9). With this, I would like to emphasize, I am not accusing the individual misguided, but the Roman Catholic institution, which spreads its erroneous dogmas, although the church leadership knows exactly that these are biblically untenable.
In office
I was ordained a priest on September 13, 1986 at Sacred Heart Church, Paignton. Overall, I served the Roman Catholic Church as a deacon for one year and then as a priest for almost seven years. During this time I served in various parishes in Dorset and Devon and met many well-meaning people who were tragically misled by the unbiblical teachings imposed on them. I spent a year as a deacon in Paignton, Devon.
This is a vacation spot on the 'English Riviera' where the number of Sunday masses increased in summer due to the large number of vacationers. This is where the inner struggle began that I found myself in throughout my tenure. What exactly was my problem, however, was not to be understood until I left the Church in Rome: I simply failed to bring my personal beliefs into line with the duties I had to perform as a priest.
In Paignton, my main task was to celebrate mass on Sundays and weekdays and also to bring the host to the sick and the elderly who could not leave their home. Since I was also allowed to perform baptisms as a deacon, I was finally left with many of the baptisms that came up, which always took place on Sunday afternoons when the church was closed to tourists. To some extent I was beginning to understand that these rituals were not at all suitable for spreading the gospel. I felt unfulfilled and the work seemed pointless to me. One time I was asked to teach catechesis to two children aged six and eight who had been admitted to church primary school as non-Catholics and then baptized them. When I the nun who ran the school said after a while that there was no point in baptizing the two boys because they had no idea of God and did not want to listen to my teachings, she got angry. She had only accepted them into the school on condition that they would be baptized into the Roman Catholic Church (note:not baptized into the Church : baptized as Christians !). Nobody was interested in whether the children had faith and for nobody it seemed important that they would recognize God, they were only concerned about 'doing the right thing', namely making them outwardly Catholics.
Badly equipped
All of this confused me and drove me further on the path that was gradually leading me away from Rome. I also had some difficulties with the assistant minister in Paignton. His attitude and behavior worried me. Occasionally he even publicly humiliated me during services. I was not particularly surprised to find out later that he had been convicted of pedophilia and that some of his crimes occurred around the time we were in Paignton together. The structure of a Roman Catholic parish would have given me no opportunity or encouragement to convey my fears to anyone. We were also not made aware of our responsibility, which we also had for the physical well-being of children and adults,
Assuming that I not only had that personal antipathy towards him, but also had a very concrete insight into his immoral, unchristian actions, I would not have known who to turn to. What's worse, I didn't have the scriptures to know how to act. No one had told me that the Bible is God revelation and an infallible guide is, as Paul wrote it to Timothy: "All Scripture is inspired by God and is profitable for doctrine, for leadership, for reproof, for instruction in righteousness, that the Man of God be fully prepared, fully equipped for every good work "(2 Timothy 3: 16-17). But I wandered through this world without any equipment and did not know the help that God could have given me in this difficult time.
“Therefore take up the whole armor of God so that you can resist on the evil day and, after you have done everything well, assert yourselves. So it is now certain that your loins are girded with truth, and put on the breastplate of righteousness, and your feet booted with the readiness to testify to the gospel of peace. But above all, take hold of the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all fiery arrows of evil, and take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God, while you pray at all times with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, and watches for this purpose with all perseverance and intercession for all the saints ” (Ephesians 6: 13-18).
Different tasks, same needs
I had the same experience in all of the parishes I served. While there were good people everywhere, on a human scale, no one has ever pointed out the scriptures to me and encouraged me to seek salvation and wisdom in them for daily life. I spent three years in Poole, Dorset, and then I couldn't stand my agonizing doubts and hardships. Over and over again, as I made my rounds in that church, I pleaded with God to show me the answer to my inner struggles. But I received no answer - because it was already there if I had only looked for it in God's Word! Instead, I asked for a transfer and came to Plymouth Cathedral, where I suffered badly from the Administrator, in whose eyes only the performance of duty mattered.
This man, who ran the cathedral on behalf of the bishop, criticized and oppressed me so much that one day I said goodbye to the Church. However, knowing of no other place to look for answers, I returned to the lap of the Church after a few weeks. First I lived for some time in the house of a helpful Catholic in my parish and then I retired to Downside Abbey for a period of silence and spiritual reorientation. Although these people were all very nice and even the abbot took time for me, they still did not help me tackle my burning questions Bible in hand. When I felt able again to celebrate church rituals, it was interpreted as an indication that I was spiritually restored. I returned to the cathedral, where the intimidation and criticism of my manager, while strengthening my resolve, did not aid my understanding of the truth. Not long afterwards the administrator maneuvered himself with his excessive sense of duty into serious health problems and was finally transferred to Cornwall.
Because I was the only fully capable priest in that cathedral, I was entrusted with the duties of administrator. (Of my two fellow priests, one was over eighty years old, the other had an additional job as a hospital chaplain and also suffered from alcoholism.) One of the first decisions I made revealed very clearly what I really was about the Church of Rome and thought their teachings. The 6 o'clock mass on Wednesday morning was only attended by two people, one of whom could just as easily have come to a later mass. Since I had never believed that the more often you celebrate the mass, the greater the impact, I informed my two colleagues that this mass was canceled from now on. The two complained, but only until I asked them
So in the cathedral of that parish only 5 masses were read per day! If I had noticed at the time what is in the Letter to the Hebrews, chapter 10, verses 11-14, then I would have understood why I still had no rest, and what the error of the Roman Church with regard to mass is: “And every priest stands there and performs daily worship, often making the same sacrifices that can never take away sins; But after he has made a single sacrifice for sins, which is forever, he has sat at the right hand of God, and he waits until his enemies are laid as stools for his feet. For with a single sacrifice he has perfected forever those who are sanctified. "
It is not by chance that the Letter to the Hebrews was always presented as not entirely trustworthy in our formation. We were made more or less clear that we should not take this book of the Bible so seriously. No wonder! If you don't want people to see the truth, the best way to keep them away is to instill fear in them.
The scripture just mentioned is actually in the three-year plan of readings prescribed by Rome for the masses, namely on the 33rd Sunday of year B. But even if a priest actually reads this passage on this one Sunday every third year, I dare to doubt it that he then also interprets them. It is not customary in church tradition to preach on the text of the Bible itself. The priest either chooses a topic that emerges more or less from the Bible text, or speaks on the current occasion, e.g. a wedding, or he preaches on a Roman Catholic dogma. But God let this passage slip in and there is hope that some clergyman will see it, study it and preach about it.
The departure is getting closer
After the cathedral, my next place of work was the small parish of St. Thomas More, on the outskirts of Plymouth. It was a large, densely populated area, but few people came to church. It was there that I was responsible for the parish independently as a priest for the first time. And for the first time I began to think for myself and act according to my own conscience - although I still did not know the guide of this conscience, the Holy Spirit.
Within three short years, I had made many changes in the church, and / or thoroughly redesigned its occasions and offers. Confession was only taken 'on demand' and - let's be honest - who comes to church to ask for a confession! The parish, which was previously strongly influenced by Roman Catholicism, was given a form that other denominations could also recognize. The altar was still an altar and not a table, but it was brought down from its high position and simplified. The wooden pulpit on the wall was replaced by a clearly visible stone pulpit in the middle of the church. The idol statue of Mary was removed from the church choir and placed in the entrance area. The tabernacle in which the consecrated host is kept and worshiped, I had the main church brought to a side chapel. For the most part, I ignored the regulations about the different colored vestments and cloaks for the different seasons and holidays.
One of the biggest changes I made concerns something that, although part of the Roman liturgy, is disregarded by the vast majority of parishes worldwide, namely the 'adoration of the cross' which is part of the Good Friday liturgy. Pay special attention to the word 'cross'. A crucifix is worshiped in the vast majority of Roman Catholic churches, but the liturgy provides for an empty cross (although, of course, worshiping such a cross is still idolatry).
I refused to use a crucifix and instead had an empty cross made for the Good Friday service, because the thought that the worshipers would kiss the feet of the figure hanging on the crucifix worried me. However, because not all of them like the change in their rituals, because of this - as well as because of the changes in the church building - many comments and complaints reached my ear. In spite of all of this, the number of churchgoers kept increasing, which I attribute solely to the Lord Himself. “For I would not dare to speak of anything that Christ did not work through me…” (Romans 15:18).
When I look back today, I understand why I still had so many internal struggles while I was serving in that parish. Because despite many small hints that my path should lead in a different direction, I still did not see the real root of the problem in the middle of the Roman Catholic system. During the three years that I served that parish to the best of my knowledge and belief, not only did the congregation increase, but also my unrest. I couldn't understand why, despite all the success, I felt so empty. I was telling the church members about the power of God, but I couldn't see it myself within the Church of Rome. I was like a 'whitewashed grave', with the outward appearance of godliness, but inside I was gnawed away by sin and guilt. I wasn't sure if that“Woe to you scribes and Pharisees, you hypocrites, that you look like whitewashed graves that appear beautiful on the outside but are full of dead bones and all uncleanness on the inside” (Gospel of Matthew 23:27).
Progress
In the end, the doubtful search for the truth became so painful that I made the decision to leave the Roman Church. I had spoken to many people in my ward and given them well-intentioned advice, and every now and then I had said to someone, “If things are like this, then you should leave this situation behind you!” And finally, after a particularly hard day's work , I was ready to apply this advice to myself. Even if I had done everything I was told by the Church of Rome, I still had not found God. How was this possible when what I was doing was right? And so I decided to leave this system. Even if I had not yet found God, He had already found me and I could no longer oppose him!“For the Son of Man came to seek and to save what is lost” (Gospel of Luke 19:10).
Others can share the difficulties of leaving the Church of Rome, and I was no exception. When I went to the bishop to tell him of my decision, it was important to me to be accompanied by an understanding priestly colleague. This turned out to be very wise because the bishop tried to convince me that I had lost my mind and that I had to be sent to one of the monasteries, where confused priests are being 'fixed'. If I had been alone, he would probably have pushed me so that I would have given in, but thanks to God's help and guidance, it never came to that. I left the church compound within five days. I don't know whether the farewell letter to the parishioners that I left in the parish was ever read to them.
Crash into the void
The only thing I got from the diocese was the down payment for a small furnished room - no help, no advice, not even thanks for the work I had done for the Church for seven years. After that I drifted disoriented for twelve months - without a church and without knowing where or how to seek the truth. And if I hadn't crashed completely, I would still be wandering around today without a sense of direction.
A hasty friendship with a member of a rugby club with whom I was still in contact brought me into conflict with the law. Despite the unpleasant experiences that I now had to go through, a strange accumulation of 'coincidences' led me to search again for God's truth. The first criminal defense attorney assigned to me was a Christian who openly confessed to it. The lawyer was a Christian. The psychologist who confirmed my confusion and depression in court was a Christian. The judge who gave the verdict was a Christian. They all understood and supported me. And so I wanted to know more, not only about the reason for their behavior, but also about why God had sent them on my way. And so I started visiting different churches in the area,“And I say to you: Ask, and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and it will be opened to you ” (Gospel of Luke 11: 9).
Where can I find the truth?
The first churches I 'tested' failed my exams because, although they were evangelical in name, I heard nothing there that would have helped me. About five months after I left the priestly ministry, I met someone who advised me to attend St. Andrew's Church in central Plymouth. This parish belonged to the 'Reformation wing' of the Anglican Church and its members were determined evangelicals. The simple service and the clearly biblical message caught my attention and I started going there regularly. I also attended another Reformation church, St. Leonard's in Exeter, where the same scripture preached the right chord in me.
But even though I now knew that the answer was to be found in the scriptures, I had not yet found Christ myself. This miracle took place in two stages, on two not far apart days during 1995 under completely different circumstances.
The first stage was triggered during a walk with Gérardine, a fellow student of the social work course I was taking at the university. While we walked through the fascinating, unspoilt landscape of Dartmoor, we discussed questions of faith. The reason for my first conversation with Gérardine was the 'Ichthys' fish symbol on her car. After that, our conversations took place more and more often and also became more and more personal. We were supposed to go on many trips together before we finally got married in 1996. But during this very walk I began to look the truth in the face and spoke concretely about all the situations that had burdened me so much during my time as a Roman Catholic priest. I dared to open my doubts about the Eucharist, the ear confession, pronouncing forced celibacy and much more. For the first time, I was able not only to address these issues, but to recognize the errors and unbiblical teachings as such and also to reject them. I was able to drop the psychological protective cover that I had been hiding behind until then. I can still very well remember the feeling of freedom that seized me as I - leaning on the scriptures - dropped every one of these teachings. I understood that they could only be sustained with human-philosophical arguments. For the first time it really became clear to me that both the worship of the host in the monstrance and the prayer of the rosary and Roman Catholic theology of the Virgin Mary were all about idolatry. After this thick curtain, which had been before my eyes had fallen, I could see everything so clearly that there was nothing to deny. That afternoon I also realized the truth that God and salvation cannot be found through human arguments and trains of thought.“Wisdom, understanding and counseling against the Lord are of no avail” (Proverbs 21:30). Praise be to the name of the Lord that he has given me his wisdom, which I needed for my salvation.
I still hadn't gotten the full truth, but I wasn't too far from it. After all, I was now liberated from Rome in a way that I had never been before. Furthermore, I was no longer at the mercy of the unbiblical demands that this church makes on its followers.
The day of knowledge
Shortly afterwards we met with Gérardine's brother. He was a preacher in an evangelical Anglican church. It was the last Sunday of the school holidays and the community celebrated the end of the children's holiday meeting. The service was deliberately designed to be evangelistic; the message was aimed at those parents who were possibly not yet believers themselves and only came for their children. I don't remember every detail of his sermon, but it was about how urgently each of us needs the Lord Jesus Christ and his work of redemption on the cross. At the end of the service I realized that only faith in Jesus Christ can make me acceptable to God and that my sins can only be forgiven if I put my trust in Him. The decisive factor was not my ability to think or the choice I made, but God's irresistible pull. Nothing magical had happened there, and I didn't have any particularly great feelings, but from that moment on I knew that something had changed in my life.
The following week we went to church in Exeter. During a certain song I was suddenly overwhelmed by the reality of my salvation, so that I could sing along with all of my heart:
“Your love - it is pure like the purest snow; Your love - she weeps for the shame of mine; Your love - it pays my debts alone; O Jesus, your love.
Your love - the source of life it is to me; O Jesus, your love. "
That my sins had been forgiven through the death of the Lord Jesus Christ on the cross became a deep certainty of faith for me at that moment. All the years in which I thought that I had to earn forgiveness through my own works and through the so-called sacraments of the Roman Church, I had believed a lie. “But because we have realized that humans are not out
Works of the law is justified, but through faith in Jesus Christ, we too have believed in Christ Jesus so that we might be justified by faith in Christ and not by works of the law, because no flesh is justified by works of the law ” (Galatians 2:16). For a long time afterwards I was so moved during every service that I cried, but it wasn't tears of pain, loss or anger, but tears of sigh of relief and joy that I had finally understood what Jesus testified of himself: " I am the way and the truth and the life; no one comes to the Father except through me ” (Gospel of John 14: 6).
A heartfelt request
Today I am a minister of the gospel in a small Reformation, Bible-faithful church. I preach and teach the gospel as the sole source of the faith and life practice of Christians. It is very important to me that many more recognize that we can obtain salvation solely through God's grace (Ephesians 2: 8), and that we owe it to His grace alone that we are through the blood of the Lamb, Jesus Christ to be clean from all sin and guilt. The Lord has blessed me and I know that Jesus Christ is my Savior. I repented of my sins and now rest in His mercy. May all those who read these lines who have not yet been brought to this point by God's grace, but are up to now entangled in the Church of Rome, Ponder and pray about the following scripture. Because Rome wants to keep you away from the truth of Christ.
“Who will part us from the love of Christ? Tribulation or fear or persecution or hunger or nakedness or danger or sword? As it is written: 'For your sake we are being killed all day; we are respected like sheep for slaughter! ' But in all of this we overcome far through the one who loved us. For I am certain that neither death nor life, neither angels nor principalities nor powers, neither present nor future, neither high nor low, nor any other creature can separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord “ (Romans 8: 35-39).
Dominic Stockford is now pastor of Christ Church in Teddington, South West London, a community that seeks to hold fast to the truth of scriptures. Dominic is in contact with many others in Great Britain and the USA who, like himself, have taken up the good fight of the faith against ritualism and against the movement towards ecumenism. Dominic and his wife have two daughters and are delighted with all the goodness God has shown them.
He is happy to answer letters (in English). His email address is Dominic@FrancisStockford.fsnet.co.uk
[Source: https://bereanbeacon.org/de/das-leben-nach-dem-romisch-katholischen-priesterstand/]
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