A personal testimony of a converted priest
In my youth, I was in the Catholic Church. I went to university to study Philosophy, and I worked with an organization called Catholic Action. I was very active in the Catholic Church, but it did not give me any purpose for my life. All this could not suffocate the feeling of sin that I had in my heart. I had a futility in everything in my soul. I was desperate. I had at my disposal everything a young man could have. My family was very entrenched, with their feet on the ground, as we say here in Italy. They had money. And so I had everything I wanted. I had absolutely everything I could have with human power, but I did not have what a man must have to live. You can have everything you want, but you only exist; you don't live. You cannot live without the meaning of life;
I appeared to the bishop and told him these things. The bishop told me that these things were beneficial, and that I was a good boy, but that I should not think such nonsense. Because Jesus Christ, before being ascended to heaven, gave all His authority into the hands of Peter, the Pope and the apostles. As a result, I will find the Kingdom of God in the church. I will find absolutely everything I need about my sin. The church had all the means necessary, namely through the sacraments, to purify souls, including my soul; he had everything necessary to prepare me for a relationship with God. And that, I could use the sacraments, to cleanse my soul, to find through the sacraments a sure way to meet God.
That is why I immediately chose, as only young people with enthusiasm can choose, to become what the Catholic Church had the hardest time, namely a hermit (hermit). I went to a hermitage only on a hill near Rome. From there I could see Rome. I only shaved twice a week. I had no hair at all. I was only dressed in a large tunic made of wool, and I wore the same tunic in winter and summer. It was very hot in the summer, and very cold in the winter, and the wind was blowing wherever I went. I did all these things with all my heart, trying to destroy my sin with earthly power, by human will. I had to get to God, and I almost killed myself. The doctor told me I had to leave after almost a year. I planned to come back later, when I'm older.
I became a priest, and I was sent to a parish, a large parish with yet another priest. He was over 80 years old, so I had to do everything.
I tried to be very nice to people. I was sad, but instead I was nice to people, and I noticed that there were a lot of people around me. I loved being a priest, but I was not happy in my soul, in my heart. Despite everything I did, I had nothing to meet God with. I had no certainty, no sense of assurance. My sin was still there. Every time I went to ask, they only told me what to read from the Gospel of Luke, and one verse had become a real obstacle for me.
Namely, this phrase in the hand of the power of religion, in the hand of human reason, namely, Jesus Christ saying to his apostles “ he who hears you listens to me, and he who despises you despises me, and he that despiseth me despiseth him that sent me. ” And so my bishop told me that before he was ascended to heaven, Jesus Christ gave us all His authority. Therefore, if you do not listen to us, you do not listen to Jesus; and if you despise Jesus, you despise God. So I was afraid to think. I didn't need to think. I just had to trust my bishop.
However, one day, almost in despair, I began translating the New Testament from Greek with some young people. It was fun at first, but the further I went, the more I realized a gap, and the biggest gap I could see was that Jesus Christ was always trying to direct people to God. To stand face to face with God, while the church is always trying to bring people to itself.
After I finished the first translation of the gospel after Matthew, the priest in my parish was very upset. He was upset because I was teaching the Bible. "If they knew what we knew, they would never come back, they would never come to church again." In any case, when we finished this chapter, one thing became clear: Jesus telling his apostles “ go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to keep everything what I have commanded you! And, behold, I am with you alway, even unto the end of the world. ” (Matthew 28: 19-20)
So indeed, Jesus Christ said to the apostles, "He that heareth you heareth me; and he that despiseth you despiseth me." But Jesus never said to the apostles, go and teach them whatever you want; go and teach him whatever will make you an important person; go and preach whatever a great and powerful earthly church will do; go and preach whatever will make people happy; and then, if I despise you, I despise myself.
Jesus said, " Go and teach them all that I have commanded you. " everything I (Jesus) have already told you. And, of course, if you go, and if you say everything I have commanded you, nothing more and nothing less, then if they despise you, they will despise me. I began to believe that if there was a gap, I had to see more and more. So I read the Scriptures more and more. And the more you read, the more the grass grows, so I found myself preaching a few things that were against me.
I no longer used my Sunday morning sermon to build my authority, but I used my sermon against myself. But that got me in trouble. For a start, they moved me to Mass at 6 in the morning. The liturgy became crowded. They knew something had to happen, so the bishop called me, and he was very upset. He told me he wanted to send me to another parish. I was promoted to a parish with 55,000 people in a town called Imperia, to a new church, and a priest under my subordination, and so on.
Here I was in a good position for someone so young. I was a senior priest, and I enjoyed being there with other priests, listening to what people said: "Oh, he's so young, he has a good career, how good he looks!" Now that I think about those times, I'm ashamed. However, inside me, I was not happy. I tried to do an exegesis. I tried to learn more and more from the Scriptures, and I always attracted people when I did this. Sometimes people traveled long distances, came by bus, and this caused trouble with the church authorities. The cardinal told me there was no truth outside the church. He told me again that when Jesus was taken up into heaven, he gave His authority into the hands of the apostles; and so Christians must seek instruction and teaching, teaching, discipline, rebuke, rebuke,
I went back to the parish, but people pressed me, and the young people pressed me to continue. I told them that when we get together, I will open the Bible to see what God will do. And I met these young people on a regular basis. Now I remember how I opened the letter to the Galatians and read chapter 1. When I got to verse 8, I could no longer quote “ But even if we, or an angel from heaven, preach another gospel than the one which we have preached to you, be cursed! ”
I was shocked, literally in shock. Here the apostle Paul, who encouraged people to suffer, who loved his people more than his own life, told the people, “ If I preach another gospel to you, please throw me out of your midst. “If any of the apostles preaches another gospel, please throw them out of your midst, for there is no salvation in the Apostles.
There is no salvation even through an angel coming from heaven.
We have salvation in God's Word. I said to myself then, now I know what to start with, and where I can find out. I continued with these people in the parish. My bishop was very smart, and he knew how to stop me. He said to me “you are very proud, who do you think you are? Do you think you understand the Scriptures better than I do and better than the Pope? When the Bishop told me I was proud, I knew I was proud. I knew I liked the position I had, but now I knew where to find the answer — the Truth. I knew I was a beggar, I knew I was a simple sinner, and sin was still there to destroy me.
I started with the Old Testament, to find out where exactly God commanded the prophets and patriarchs, go and interpret My Word. I wanted to know where in Scripture God gave us His authority to interpret the Word, but we found no word on it. I looked in the New Testament, but I found no Scripture, no phrase in which Jesus Christ left us His authority to interpret the Scriptures. Jesus never told the apostles to "go and interpret My Word." I began to see very clearly. I do not know if it is clear to you, but to me in those days John 14:26 was very clear: “ But the Comforter, which is the Holy Ghost, whom the Father will send in my name, he shall teach you all things, remember everything I told you. ”-not in the name of the Pope, nor of the Bishop, or of a Catholic Peter; not in the name of the priest, but in my name . He will teach you. The Holy Spirit is the interpreter. God never abandoned his authority to interpret the Scriptures.
This gave me a lot of courage. Of course I had problems. I was moved to another church, an old parish with nine churches. They thought that, being very busy, I would have lost my mind to study, on the contrary, I walked and preached. But I was still not happy because of my sin. Now I knew where to find the truth, but what to do with my sin? With my soul? I knelt in front of the altar at night and sometimes the caretaker would find me there in the morning. But God had mercy on me, especially when I mocked him.
I remember when on a Sunday at 12 o'clock I officiated the sung Liturgy. I had two priests beside me, and 25 young ministers dressed in white on one side, and 25 ministers on the opposite side; the choir sang beautifully. I was at the end of the altar, I prayed, “You are a cruel God, why don't you kill me here? Why don't you destroy me? ” And while I was washing my hands at the altar, one of the young men read the letter to Hebrews 10:10; it was a shock to my mind. As I struggled in my heart, he read, " By this" will "we were sanctified, that is, by the sacrifice of the body of Jesus Christ, once for all."I was shocked. “Stupid little man! Do you think I gave my life for nothing? Do you think that if everyone said no, I would save you for nothing? Stupid man, who do you think you are? I saved you because I wanted to save you, I saved you because I love you. ” It was like a hammer in my mind " every priest does the service every day and often brings the same sacrifices that can never blot out sins . " I said to the priests who were with me, “Did you hear him? Have you heard Him? I looked at them, and they were looking at me intently. "Look, look at what's written here. He did this, we are useless. And I looked at the whole large congregation in the church. People began to cry, to moan, and I told them, but He did everything and “ I will not remember their sins.“. He did that, we're not good at anything. I was so happy, crying and laughing. Eventually, it became clear in my mind that I had been fired, but no one was happier than I was. No one was happier than me to be fired, and to know that I was fired. Once and for all, once for everyone, He did that.
They thought I was sick, that all these responsibilities were too much for a young man like me. In any case, I was so happy that I tried to tell my Bishop the same thing when he came to see me. They did not want me to resign, but I could not attend Mass because I was fired. As a result, they entrusted me with a college with 800 young people, and of course with students, and teachers, etc. I was in college, but I did not attend Mass. I even tried to teach others, including the nuns. They were very careful. It was Saturday night, and people were coming to confession. I began to ask, "Why are you here?" "I am here to confess my sins" "Do you love Jesus?" "Yes" "Why do you love Jesus?" "Because he died for my sins?"
“If he died for your sins, go and glorify him. Why do you come to me to confess your sins? What have I to do with your sins? ” And so the confession was very short. But the nuns complained to the Bishop, and I saw that they could not understand. So I left the Roman Catholic Church for good, along with other people who followed me. I studied at the University of Rome, and I studied in England, and in the Netherlands. I thought many Protestants threw away the Bible. But then I met many born-again Christians, Christians with whom I could say, “ Your God is my God, your people are my people. “So, now I have a rich Christian brotherhood. I am in correspondence with many priests. Two years ago in Rome, I preached at a gathering of 3,000 priests. A lot of Christian communities are growing all over Italy. My desire is to guide Roman Catholics to Christ, and if possible to convert, even the Pope.
[Source: https://bereanbeacon.org/ro/moentuit-kn-timpul-oficierii-liturghiei/]
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